Oh what a year it has been! 365 days, 52 weeks, or 12 months, anyway you slice it Owen has reached his first birthday and I am now the mother of a one year old. It is incredible to think how new and different things were and today, I can't remember my life without him. Owen brings so much joy and fear and hope into our lives and although we admittedly have less sex, he has strengthened the love that Anthony and I have for one another.
I feel like everything I just said is super cliche or what you imagine people to say about their kids but it is true. I was selfish before becoming a mother. I was insensitive before becoming a mother. I was type A before becoming a mother. And now I am these things to a lesser degree but I have learned that i can love more than i ever realized was possible and that I want more than anything for my son to be happy. Children change you and it is good.
This first year brought an identity crisis for this new mother who wanted nothing more than to be a mom. I am still working to find a balance between wife, mother, Mormon, employee, etc. And wanting to be 100% at everything all at once. I've questioned my values and wondered about staying home vs working and things that I had thought were all figured out.
I am a super extrovert but I now understand what introverts mean when they say that they want space. I sometimes want to pee alone or shower alone or run to the store quickly. Wanting space is completely new and foreign to me but i now understand what AntHony has been taking about for the past seven years.
Watching someone grow reminds you of the worst and best parts of your childhood. Owen learns something new constantly. The other day, he conquered his fear of crawling through tunnels. He can sign for milk, more, and all done. He says dada, momma, yum, no. He amazes me and I know he is the strongest, smartest, and the best looking guy around because he is half of me and his father. He is the physical example of the love that Anthony and i share and that is so unreal.
Notable
Owen has 8 teeth and can crawl but isn't walking yet
Likes
Toys that make noise
Crawling
Growling at the dogs
Balls
AttentionAttentionm
Eating
Dislikes
When the cell phone screen goes dark
Naps and bed time
Traffic while in the car
Sitting still
Walking (too much work)
Sitting quietly in restaurants
Owen,
When you read this some day and think, "gee mom is crazy," remember always that I am crazy for you. Your first year was precious to me and I cherished every single stage and moment with you. I don't want you to grow up too fast but i won't stop you either. You will do incredible things and I will always support you. I'm your number one fan and so excited for what is to come.
Love always,
Mom
