Now that you have some background, I think some of modern feminism comes into conflict with these teachings and it upsets me.
Sexual liberation is used to say that it is ok for women to have lots of different sexual partners because it is liberating and shows how even they are with men in today's society. Both of those notions really bother me. When you treat your body as though anything can enter it, it shows a lack of discretion, poor judgment, and a concern for safety without consideration of long term consequences. Men if they engage if unsafe sex or a one night stand are at worst leaving with an STD while a woman can end up pregnant and left with very poor options (this speaks nothing of committed relationships although they run equal risks because without the protection of marriage no one is held accountable).
The second part in the above statement about how women are equal to men if they are sexually liberated claims 1. That all men are sexually active and 2. That the male virtue is insignificant. Not all men are having sex because like women that choose not to have sex, they have weighed the pros and cons and/or have not found the right mate. I was always offended when my dad said that with a son you only have to worry about one dick but with a daughter you have to worry about all of them. This made me feel as if all men only cared about sex or like my brother's virginity mattered less which may have made him feel less valued or more inclined to have sexual relations. When you think or assume that all men think about or want is sex, it can make dating difficult because you are thinking, 'gee, I wonder when he's going to try to pressure me to have sex or leave me because I won't.' Male virginity is special and sacred but maybe because their genitals don't change (referring to the hymen) after first having intercourse, we don't treat it as the delicate flower that it is.
There is nothing liberating about a society that tells you that men have no control over their urges and that women are asking for it. Men have fought wars, hunted for food, invented modern conveniences, but can't control their sexual desire around a beautiful woman... Yeah, right. That gives them far less credit than they deserve and provides an excuse for rape, adultery, and a host of other law of chastity contrasting behavior. Slut shaming is wrong. I have not always dressed modestly and I'll be the first to admit that I liked the attention that I got. When I started hanging around Mormon men in high school, I realized that these young priesthood holders valued more than the skin I was showing and wanted to learn more about me. I had value, not just my breasts, legs, butt, etc. but my thoughts and feelings were valued and I was worth more adjectives than fat, skinny, tall, or short. It was there that I learned what kind of attention to seek because the guys that appreciated the skin I was showing had no interest in my hobbies, favorite classes, or real life. Little did I know that dressing immodestly was the opposite of liberating because I was seeking attention that objectofied my body and ignored my mind.
Sex is a precious thing that deserves nothing less than marriage. I was a virgin when i got married although I admit I was no perfect saint and probably let things go too far at times. Before our wedding, a handful of married and unmarried people came to us and encouraged us to have sex out of wedlock and condoned living together without being married in lieu of getting married. They cited age, worldly experience, and financial stability as reasons for us to delay marriage but somehow living together was fine. I was shocked and insulted by their assumptions that I only wanted Anthony as my husband for sex which trivialized marriage as a construct. How hurtful to say that virginity was not a prized possession for either of us and that we should just engage in sexual relations anyway because that had to be the only reason we would want to marry at ages 21 and 23. Our decision to marry had more to do with love, seeking stability, an eternal partner, and committing to have and raise children together at some point, and sure sex was a wonderful bonus but not the cause.
Sex is wonderful! It is fun and gentle and exciting and procreative (for some)! My partner has only been with me and I with him and that is really the most liberating because I know I can fully trust him and he is the best partner I have ever had. Sharing myself with him connects us on a level we share with no one else in this world and that is so incredibly beautiful.
I'm thankful for the law of chastity for showing me my value and keeping me pure for the only man who deserves it, my husband. I testify of the safety it can provide you and the blessings that you'll see from following it. Amen.
