Owen being big brother

At 4 years old, Owen is a better brother and friend than most adults. He loves Amelia so much he cried recently because he couldn't nurse her. Literal tears streamed down his face as asked me why she couldn't feed the baby his boobies. It was precious.

This year has been wonderful watching their relationship. Amelia thinks Owen is hilarious and he loves showing off for her! He wanted to play with at my mom's house so he brought his Christmas present Paw Patrol toys over to Amelia and laid them all out for her and then went to play his puzzle. It was so sweet that he went through the trouble and shared something he finds to be such a treasure with her.

The other night, we had the sister missionaries over for dinner and all of Amelia's sippy cups were in the dishwasher so she had a cup with a straw on the dinner table. When we weren't looking, Owen noticed that Amelia was thirsty and held the drink up for her so she could sip. He was so paitent with her as she drank from the cup. It was truly touching and unrehearsed and definitely not something we asked him to do. I am so proud of him and wanted to have in written down.

Owen Adjusting to Sister

The below are some bullet points on how Owen is handling his adjustment to staying home with mom and life with a little sister.

• The day after Halloween is not the easiest time to get a bew sibling... candy high kiddo...

• His new fav movie is Pocahontas and it is perhaps Disney's least PC movie. Ugh!

• Owen tells Amelia, "hi sweet boy (then girl when I correct him)." He likes 'booping' her nose with his finger and holding her hand. 

• Before Amelia's belly button's swelling went down, Owen was calling it 'her penis' so I had to explain that Amelia is a girl and doesn't have one... haha

• Right after she was born, Owen would ask me. "Why is she biting your nipples?" He weaned a yard and a half ago but clearly doesn't remember nursing.

Birth of Amelia Marie

We had our second home birth last week and were happily surprised to welcome a beautiful baby girl!!! All of the wives tales had been right with both my kids which you can see explained in the blog post here. But anyway... on to the birth story!

Last Pregnant pic!

He didn't care I was 1 day over my Due Date. He wanted CANDY!

At 40 weeks and 2 days, after 2.5 hours of trick or treating with my 3 year old, a great chiropractic adjustment, and a bloody show (on Halloween no less), we had a fast and furious birth on November 1, 2017. After returning from trick or treating and visiting with my mom who came over on Halloween day, I hit the hay around 11 p.m. with pressure waves that felt inconsistent but at 1:30 a.m. I wasn't able to sleep through or nap between pressure waves any more so I got up and into our big tub. Anthony joined me and let my mom know what was going on. Around 2 a.m./2:30 a.m. we reached out to a friend and the midwife to let them know the pressure waves were getting more intense and consistent. This definitely didn't feel like giving birth to Owen which I spent much of birth comparing it to.

My midwife Sharon arrived with her birth assistant Heather at around 3 a.m. and checked me but I have a rule where I don't like to know my dilation number. I later learned that at this first check, I was 3 cm dialated, 90% effaced, and +1; Sharon told mom that if I was a first time mom, she probably would have left but she could tell things were going to move quickly. Things progressed rapidly and I was kicking myself throughout labor for not making Hypnobabies practice a bigger priority because I could not stay in the zone but the recordings did help me stay more positive.

WARNING: Birth is not as dramatic as the movies

Probably around transformation, I was being loud and my mother shushed me... I snapped at her, "Don't tell me what to do!" and continued in my birthing. Poor mom just didn't want Owen to wake up but he slept through the ENTIRE thing... in the moment I didn't care if he woke up, I was doing what I had to do to get that baby out. I also may have cursed and hit the side of the tub with my fist at one point... like I said, getting that baby out. I also might have said that this was our last baby and we were done at one point too... the same birth as a Owen's 18 hours condensed into MUCH less time; it felt like things were taking forever but it was actually all happening very fast.

At around 5:50 a.m., I asked Sharon if I could push and she said, "of course, if you are feeling the urge to, then by all means. Listen to my body." So they gloved up and came to the side of the tub. Anthony is in EMT school so when I started pushing, Sharon asked if he'd like to catch our baby and he did. (Ironically enough, the November 1st lesson at school was on Obstetrics.) My mom held my hand as my midwife walked Anthony through 'catching' and I paced my pushing with my contractions. I felt like an expert pusher this time because with Owen, I was so clueless on how to push and it took about 45 minutes to get him out. That may seem dumb to most but you are using a muscle that you never have before in your first birth so it takes some learning/training.

When Anthony placed her in my arms and we saw she was A GIRL

The cord was wrapped around her neck once and Sharon unlooped it as Anthony was catching her. At 6:01 a.m., Anthony placed a baby girl up on my chest. Always the best surprise finding out what you've been carrying! She wasn't at all what I'd pictured but birth really is the ultimate best blind date.

Amelia weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 21 inches long and she was a great nurser from first latch on. She was so calm and peaceful and with a TON of dark hair.

When big brother woke up, we asked him if he wanted to meet his sister and he said, "no, I want Halloween candy." A perfect response from a 3 year old big brother.ther woke up, we asked him if he wanted to meet his sister and he said, "no, I want Halloween candy." A perfect response from a 3 year old big brother who has since asked a lot of questions about her.

Owen wanted to do skin-to-skin like dad.

None of our girl names worked for her and we went back to the drawing board. Owen suggested we name her Baby, Minion, or Mary Scarlett but we didn't feel those fit her either. I found Emelia as a middle name on Dickie's side of the family but then when talking to Judi was reminded that Anthony had a Great Great Aunt Amelia Landi and the Marie is my middle name (and my mom's and my grandma's and so on) but it is also found in the Italian side which is the only explanation we have for all her hair. :)

Midwife & Friend Sharon

Mom and Doula

I hope I don't forget

How Owen pronounces th as f sounds.

How he calls blankets blanklees.

How he can't say ninja turtles but says enja turtles.

How he prays for football at dinner.

How he confuses his pronouns, "pick you my up."

A light can only be turned off and a door can only be closed.

How everything with an American flag or even just an American flag are Captain America.

How perceptive he is about little things.

How he insists that shoesare the wrong feet are right if that's how he wanted to wear them.

How a red tank top, green plaid shorts,  white socks, and open toed sandals seem to make an outfit.

How if he wants water in the green cup,  he asks for "green water."

How he tells me that I have 4 babies in my belly.

How he asks if mommy or daddy is kicking when he feels the baby.

How he dances with one elbow very high in the air.

Almost 3, and I'm sure 3, will be tough but he's a good kid.

Hurricane Matthew

So we closed on our house, spent one night there and then got the road to evacuate from Hurricane Matthew. Surrounded by beautiful BIG oak trees and with no way to check on the house (I was in Fort Walton Beach and Anthony was at Baker County Firehouse), we waited out the storm and hoped for the best.

Luckily, we received very little damage and on Monday when I called Anthony to ask about power at the house, he confirmed it was on told me to head home. I came home and enjoyed that power for a few hours before the power was cut off by

Longview

It had been in the back of my mind for quite a while. Our house in Bentley Woods was small and we were going to outgrow it if we had a second kid. So when the mortgage rates were low and the equity was high we jumped in the market and found a new house. Anthony was much more cautious and hesitant which was smart of him. With a little coaxing, he got on board.

We absolutely love our new house and we only started shopping after finding another one in our ward with a pool and near Pickwick Park. That house was next to two houses on the river, too. By the time we contacted our realtor though, the house was already under contract with another buyer. We put an offer in on Longview and had it in escrow within 24 hours, so we listed our house right away.

With great staging and 14 showings in 4-5 days, we got two offers and we were able to close for full asking price. It worked out perfectly and from offer on Longview to close, it was about 60 days.

Things Toddlers Say

Owen is 2.5 and 31.5 lbs, 37.5 inches tall, and has a head circumference in the 95th percentile. Two has been an interesting age. Owen is constantly testing boundaries, asking questions,  and forming his own opinion.

Funny things he has said:
"Jesus loves all the children everywhere  in the world."

When asked what his favorite ice cream flavor is, he responded, "Black." After giggling, we were able to determine that black ice cream is chocolate.

On our cruise in January 2017, Owen began calling us by our first names. He also told me, "you're not in charge, mommy" and "spank daddy. He's a bad boy."

His prayers consist of thanking the lord for his food (even at bedtime), listing family members and friends, and then ending with, "Jesus name, amen."

Blessings
Anthony was giving me a blessing after we moved into the new house and I was sitting on the floor. Owen was there too and came up and put his little hands on top of Anthony's. It was very precious.

Un-Enjoyment

Someone once told me that unemployment really translates to unenjoyment and we found that to be the case.

In September 2015, Anthony left his role as Quality Control Specialists at Web.com with my blessing to pursue a career in writing. He's worked off and on for journalistic and some copywriting freelance work but with an inconsistent income and constant requirement to work was looking for the right full time fit.

In February, I made a career move from Autoline where my role had evolved and hours had changed to include Saturdays and 12-hour Friday shifts where I was unable to see Owen before work or after work. I took a position working from home with 'some' travel that evolved to be a lot more travel. It was stressful and very hard work.

We spent the past 12 weeks unemployed, searching, fasting, applying, interviewing, and waiting.  After over 20 interviews and waiting to hear back from some employers for up to 30 days, we have both received and accepted offers.

Anthony will be the Marketing Content & Social Media Producer for Ultimate Survival Technologies. Danielle will be a Production Support Specialist for Accenture at their client site Citi Bank.

We are both so relieved to have these new opportunities in our life and we are so grateful for this. We have set goals and are excited to begin moving forward.

New floors

I treated myself to new floors in the house because after living here 4 years, we haven't done a single renovation or home improvement project. We did vinyl planks in the living room and new carpet in the bedrooms.

'Nanny'

Owen was learning his body parts not too long ago so after bath time when I was getting him dressed and changed into PJs. I told him that what he was touching was his penis.

Then I asked him, "can you say penis?" His response, "nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny." Nanny is the word he uses for banana. I just couldn't help my laughter. He's since gotten it right but I still laugh thinking about him calling it a banana. He's awfully confident.

He Talks

(From March 2016)

Anthony wants me to record all the words that Owen knows. He's learning so fast and soaking everything up like a little sponge. It impresses me how he goes from understanding a word to stringing along phrases and sentences. He's a nonstop talker sometimes, babbling away. I can't wait to see what he'll learn tomorrow.

For now I'll leave you with his current list of words :
Momma
Daddy
I lah you
No
Yes
Aman
Row row
Ball
Doggie
Go
Boo boo (Bruce)
E Yi Yo  (think Old Macdonald)
Hi
Bye
Outside
Foutball
Down set hut
Yay!
All done
Night night

He also had his 18 month appointment recently and is 34 inches tall and 25.4 lbs. He's very healthy too.

Our birthday

Anthony and I just celebrated our 29th and 27th birthdays. My dad was in town and we decided to go to Velocity Airsports sports for our birthday party. It was tons of fun jumping on the trampolines, going through the Ninja Warrior course, and jumping and diving into the foam pits. I even worked up a couple of flips and Anthony fell off on the tightrope over the foam pits. Owen had a blast and his smile was so contagious all of the people there loved him. I was surprised he enjoyed it as much as he did. We had a great turnout with some wonderful friends!

People That Celebrated With Us
Vivian
Lierin
Kelsie
Nathan
Doug
Dane
Mary
Mallory
And Owen

After bouncing, we all went over to Your Pie for dinner followed by dessert at Whit's frozen custard. It was a wonderful birthday celebration even though I spent the morning working. I can't believe this is Anthony and my 8th birthday we have celebrated together.

The week he said, "Amen"

It is hard to know exactly when your baby grows up. It is difficult to know and understand what he is gaining from what you are teaching him. This week he showed me that he is learning about Christ and he shared with me and tender moment during bedtime prayers.

Rocking him to sleep, we've gotten in the habit of saying our evening prayers together and I always start the prayers by addressing,  "most kind and gracious Heavenly Father" and end them with, "in Jesus name, Amen." This week Owen responded to my amen with an amen of his own.

I was surprised, touched, and moved by his sweet innocent response and his understanding of amen.

Quite a few months ago, Anthony was receiving a blessing from the elders and during the blessing Owen wouldn't sit still in my arms but wanted to crawl into his dad's arms. As soon as he was in Anthony's arms,  he calmed down and listened to the words of the elders as they shared a priesthood blessing. Own feel the spirit and that is a powerful thing.

It blows my mind that Owen isn't even 2 years old yet and he can feel the spirit. With the trials that I've experienced lately in my life it is easy for me to lose some of that feeling but I continue to do the things that I know I must do out of habit and principle. When I see the growth of my young son it will shows and reminds me of the why. I stock to the routine even when I feel disconnected because I know Heavenly Father is blessing us. I know that Owen will grow strong in the gospel and I am so grateful for his connection already.

Thanksgiving Week with Uncle Les

Looking at the giraffes

 

Great picture with Uncle Les

He loved the aquariums!

We have a walker!

 

Stinkin' Cutie!

We were lucky enough to have Uncle Les, Uncle Dane, and Aunt Mary at the house for Thanksgiving this year and it was tons of fun. We watched way too much football in my opinion but we also dined on 2 turkeys, mashed potatoes, collards, stuffing, squash and zucchini, rolls, and cheesecake. It was delicious and we all had wonderful naps afterward.

On Black Friday, I did a little shopping to get Anthony some new clothes that fit and then we headed to the zoo which was great. The weather was mid-70s and Owen loved it and was really engaged in looking at the animals.

His Favorite Animals
- Giraffes
- Penguins
- Goats (he called them Bo which is his word for dog because Uncle Dane and Aunt Mary have a dog named Beau)
- Birds

Not So Favorite Animals
- Ant Eater
- Jaguar
- Lizards
- Monkeys

He was tired after the zoo and slept really well in the car.

Owen's 1st Birthday Party

While home for Ryan and Candice's wedding and enjoying the mini-high school reunion it created, we decided to let Diana do what she does best and we threw Owen's first birthday party at The Breakers in Fort Walton Beach. It was fun having Owen's first birthday party there because that is where Anthony and I married so it was kind of a neat experience.

Owen is extremely loved and we are so blessed. I tried to discourage gifts but friends, aunts, and grandparents don't listen to those types of things and Mr. Owen ended up happily spoiled and we are grateful for it. He hit the jackpot, too! With new clothes, a custom red wagon, balls, legos, a bike, a dump truck, puzzles, rattles, books, and so much more! Thank you so much to everyone that gave Owen a gift or came to the party.

SPOILED!

I think he likes chocolate cake

He cleaned his plate and Aunt Annie cleaned him!

The weather was crummy but we did get to do some swimming for his pool party birthday and Owen love the food too which was funny because he has gotten so picky lately. He really enjoyed the chicken salad sandwiches and clearly the chocolate cake which I felt was the best decision for his gateway chocolate!

Guests at the party:
- Grandma Diana and Papa Jim
- Gi Judi and Papa Mark
- Grandpa Aho
- Wendy
- Uncle Les
- Aunt Annie
- Brittney and Jalyn
- The Drowns
- The Roses
- The Connellys
- The Duttons
- Dana Davis
- The Churches
- Diana Nguyen
- Darryl Lamar
- The Fretwells
- The Traftons

I can't believe how quickly that first year flew by. I'm so happy and blessed to have Owen in my life and I know that Anthony feels the same. We are both so proud of our son and we can't wait to see what incredible things he does in his life. He makes us so happy and we are truly enjoying life as parents.

Drs. Hidalgo

Isn't Candice stunning?

I couldn't be happier for them!!!

Mid-August 2015, two very dear friends of mine Candice Langdon and Ryan Hidalgo FINALLY tied the knot after dating nearly 10 years. I was so, so happy to be invited and able to participate in the celebration of their love. It was a beautiful ceremony and very intimate for a couple that has had such an impact on so many of their close friends.

In high school, Candice was the social planner for the entire IB group and really made me feel welcome as I was navigating the awkward social world of high school. I didn't quite fit into any one cliché so I appreciated her including me. Ryan and I swam together for Choctaw High School although he was always WAY faster than me... probably also because he was a sprinter and I was a distance swimmer. Anyway, at the wedding, I was one of the few people that was able to say that had shaved the groom's legs... Ok, so I was the only one that could claim that. So many great memories surround these two friends of mine and I look forward to watching their family grow throughout the years.

Congratulations Ryan and Candice on the beautiful life you two are starting together! I'm glad to have participated and I'm here to bolster you up if you need it.

Aunt Mandy's Visit

They are both Goofs!

I love them!!! Mandy is so beautiful!

Yay for Friends!!!

Mandy came to visit in August for her mom's birthday weekend and it was SO much fun to see her and introduce her to Owen. We don't get to chat as often as I'd like and I know that is my fault but I am so grateful to have her in my life. It is crazy how it can seem like nothing has changed or time has stood still when you are together with dear friends.

Oh, and we went to Sushi House of course! This was a frequent hang out when we were in college... about 5 years ago... where does the time go?

Pictures from July 2015

Playing with one of his best friends Amelia

His favorite peekaboo is in our laundry

Law of Chastity

Today's lesson in Relief Society was the law of chastity and as a feminist, I have a few things to say about it. In the LDS church, the law of chastity is set forth stating that no sexual relations should exist outside of the covenant of marriage. This is a pretty universal Christian approach that includes the commandment in the Old Testament, thou shalt not commit adultery along with saving your virtue for marriage including modest dressing and avoiding single dates so as to also avoid physical temptations (not scriptural).

Now that you have some background, I think some of modern feminism comes into conflict with these teachings and it upsets me. 

Sexual liberation is used to say that it is ok for women to have lots of different sexual partners because it is liberating and shows how even they are with men in today's society. Both of those notions really bother me. When you treat your body as though anything can enter it, it shows a lack of discretion, poor judgment, and a concern for safety without consideration of long term consequences. Men if they engage if unsafe sex or a one night stand are at worst leaving with an STD while a woman can end up pregnant and left with very poor options (this speaks nothing of committed relationships although they run equal risks because without the protection of marriage no one is held accountable).

The second part in the above statement about how women are equal to men if they are sexually liberated claims 1. That all men are sexually active and 2. That the male virtue is insignificant. Not all men are having sex because like women that choose not to have sex, they have weighed the pros and cons and/or have not found the right mate. I was always offended when my dad said that with a son you only have to worry about one dick but with a daughter you have to worry about all of them. This made me feel as if all men only cared about sex or like my brother's virginity mattered less which may have made him feel less valued or more inclined to have sexual relations. When you think or assume that all men think about or want is sex, it can make dating difficult because you are thinking, 'gee, I wonder when he's going to try to pressure me to have sex or leave me because I won't.' Male virginity is special and sacred but maybe because their genitals don't change (referring to the hymen) after first having intercourse, we don't treat it as the delicate flower that it is.

There is nothing liberating about a society that tells you that men have no control over their urges and that women are asking for it. Men have fought wars, hunted for food, invented modern conveniences, but can't control their sexual desire around a beautiful woman... Yeah, right. That gives them far less credit than they deserve and provides an excuse for rape, adultery, and a host of other law of chastity contrasting behavior. Slut shaming is wrong. I have not always dressed modestly and I'll be the first to admit that I liked the attention that I got. When I started hanging around Mormon men in high school, I realized that these young priesthood holders valued more than the skin I was showing and wanted to learn more about me. I had value, not just my breasts, legs, butt, etc. but my thoughts and feelings were valued and I was worth more adjectives than fat, skinny, tall, or short. It was there that I learned what kind of attention to seek because the guys that appreciated the skin I was showing had no interest in my hobbies, favorite classes, or real life. Little did I know that dressing immodestly was the opposite of liberating because I was seeking attention that objectofied my body and ignored my mind.

Sex is a precious thing that deserves nothing less than marriage. I was a virgin when i got married although I admit I was no perfect saint and probably let things go too far at times. Before our wedding, a handful of married and unmarried people came to us and encouraged us to have sex out of wedlock and condoned living together without being married in lieu of getting married. They cited age, worldly experience, and financial stability as reasons for us to delay marriage but somehow living together was fine. I was shocked and insulted by their assumptions that I only wanted Anthony as my husband for sex which trivialized marriage as a construct. How hurtful to say that virginity was not a prized possession for either of us and that we should just engage in sexual relations anyway because that had to be the only reason we would want to marry at ages 21 and 23. Our decision to marry had more to do with love, seeking stability, an eternal partner, and committing to have and raise children together at some point, and sure sex was a wonderful bonus but not the cause.

Sex is wonderful! It is fun and gentle and exciting and procreative (for some)! My partner has only been with me and I with him and that is really the most liberating because I know I can fully trust him and he is the best partner I have ever had. Sharing myself with him connects us on a level we share with no one else in this world and that is so incredibly beautiful.

I'm thankful for the law of chastity for showing me my value and keeping me pure for the only man who deserves it, my husband. I testify of the safety it can provide you and the blessings that you'll see from following it. Amen.

365 days

Oh what a year it has been! 365 days, 52 weeks, or 12 months, anyway you slice it Owen has reached his first birthday and I am now the mother of a one year old.  It is incredible to think how new and different things were and today, I can't remember my life without him.  Owen brings so much joy and fear and hope into our lives and although we admittedly have less sex, he has strengthened the love that Anthony and I have for one another.

I feel like everything I just said is super cliche or what you imagine people to say about their kids but it is true.  I was selfish before becoming a mother. I was insensitive before becoming a mother. I was type A before becoming a mother.  And now I am these things to a lesser degree but I have learned that i can love more than i ever realized was possible and that I want more than anything for my son to be happy. Children change you and it is good.

This first year brought an identity crisis for this new mother who wanted nothing more than to be a mom. I am still working to find a balance between wife, mother, Mormon, employee, etc. And wanting to be 100% at everything all at once. I've questioned my values and wondered about staying home vs working and things that I had thought were all figured out.

I am a super extrovert but I now understand what introverts mean when they say that they want space. I sometimes want to pee alone or shower alone or run to the store quickly. Wanting space is completely new and foreign to me but i now understand what AntHony has been taking about for the past seven years.

Watching someone grow reminds you of the worst and best parts of your childhood. Owen learns something new constantly. The other day, he conquered his fear of crawling through tunnels. He can sign for milk,  more,  and all done.  He says dada, momma, yum, no. He amazes me and I know he is the strongest,  smartest, and the best looking guy around because he is half of me and his father. He is the physical example of the love that Anthony and i share and that is so unreal.

Notable
Owen has 8 teeth and can crawl but isn't walking yet

Likes
Toys that make noise
Crawling
Growling at the dogs
Balls
AttentionAttentionm
Eating

Dislikes
When the cell phone screen goes dark
Naps and bed time
Traffic while in the car
Sitting still
Walking (too much work)
Sitting quietly in restaurants

Owen,

When you read this some day and think, "gee mom is crazy," remember always that I am crazy for you. Your first year was precious to me and I cherished every single stage and moment with you.  I don't want you to grow up too fast but i won't stop you either. You will do incredible things and I will always support you. I'm your number one fan and so excited for what is to come.

Love always,
Mom